Uti Nwachukwu Receives Personal Invitation And Bottle Of D’usse Cognac From Jay Z

The much talked about Dusse bottle from Jay Z, that DJ Jimmy Jatt got might have just been overrated.

Dencia’s New ‘Energy Drink’ Set To Hit The Market Soon

Controversial businesswoman and singer, Dencia, seems ready to take over the whole world as she ventures into another business.

Kim Kardashian Banned From Appearing In Vogue Magazine!

The famous TV reality star, fashion icon and s*x symbol — Kim Kardashian, has officially been banned from appearing in Vogue Magazine by the Editor-in-Chief, Anna Wintour after breaking the rules at the 2015 Met Gala by taking selfies.

The Billionaire’s Wife: Caroline Danjuma Wants Women To Act Expensive And Know Their Worth

Nollywood actress, Caroline Danjuma has made a statement that she obviously doesn’t know the meaning of.

Jahbless Survives Fatal Auto-crash After Industry Nite Performance

Fast rising Nigerian music act, Jahbless, would be overjoyed not because he had a successful performance at Industry Nite, but because he survived a very ghastly motor accident.

Mercy Aigbe Attacks Fan Who Says Her Daughter Is Rotten Just Like Her

Popular Yoruba Nollywood actress, Mercy Aigbe-Gentry, has fired back at a fan for taking shots at her.

Mercy Aigbe who’s known not to joke with her family has lashed out at a fan who called her a bad mum.

Simi Osomo Esiri Posts Adorable Photo Of Herself And Daughter

While we are still patiently waiting for Tiwa Savage to put to bed, we continue to admire another Mavin records artiste’s child.

Mike Ezuruonye & His Son, Reynold Looking Stunning | Photos

Nollywood Actor, Mike Ezuruonye has shared pictures of him and his cute son,Reynold Nkembuchim Ezuruonye.

The handsome actor has been married to his wife, Nkechi Nnorom for 5 years who is a medical-psychologist based in Canada.

Gunmen Attack Airport In East Congo, Leaves At Least One Soldier Dead

Gunmen attacked the airport in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo’s largest city, Goma, in an overnight raid that killed at least one government soldier, a local governor and a military official said on Tuesday. Witnesses in the city, home to around 1 million people and capital of Congo’s volatile North Kivu province, said they heard intermittent heavy gunfire for several hours beginning around 1 a.m. (2300 GMT, Monday). Reuters reports:

Lion In South African Game Park Kills US Tourist

A tourist believed to be from the US has been killed in a lion attack at a game park in South Africa, a park official has told the BBC.

Aid Workers Killed In Afghanistan Attack

Nine Afghan employees of a Czech aid organisation were killed in an attack on their guesthouse in northern Afghanistan, officials said. An official from the northern Balkh province told Al Jazeera that the gunmen attacked the compound of the NGO in Zari district. Aljazeera has more:

Egypt Court Postpones Morsi Death Sentence Verdict

A court in Cairo has adjourned the final ruling on a death sentence recommendation against former president Mohamed Morsi. The judge in the case postponed the verdict until June 16. Aljazeera was there:

Hundreds Missing In Chinese Tourist Ship Disaster

Hundreds of people remain missing after a tourist ship carrying more than 450 people sank on the Yangtze River in central China. Five bodies have been retrieved and at least 15 people rescued, including the captain and the ship’s chief engineer – who have both been detained – according to state media reports. Aljazeera has more:

Pastor Adeboye And Wife Surprises RCCG Rural Parish! See Photo Evidence

Yesterday, the General Overseer of The Redeemed Christian Church of God, Pastor E. A. Adeboye, did something surprising!

Pastor Adeboye who usually does not visit parishes without prior notice and the knowledge of the pastor in charge did a surprising thing yesterday. He and his wife, Pastor Folu Adeboye paid a surprise visit to one of the church’s parishes in a rural area. This got members of the small parish excited as they counted it as an honour to be the hosts of their ever-busy daddy and mummy in the Lord.

The Real Cost Of Aisha Buhari Wristwatch Is USD 129 or USD 52 000?

Nigeria’s new First Lady Aisha Buhari wore very expensive wristwatch for inauguration of her husband Muhammadu Buhari on May 29, Friday.

UPDATE: Aishat Alubankudi, who seems to be the supporter of President Buhari, stated on her Facebook account that the real price of the wristwatch is only USD 129 (N25 700).

So it can be the replica of famous expensive manual watch.

You can check the price on the site here.

Meanwhile, the investigations by Breaking Times exposed that wife of the Nigerian President appeared on the official portrait with a Cartier Baignoire Folle 18-Carat White Gold Diamond Ladies Watch that cost USD52 000?

How President Jonathan Spent His First Weekend Out Of Office | PHOTOS

Following the successful handing over of the presidency of Nigeria to President Muhammadu Buhari, former President Goodluck Jonathan retired back to his native Bayelsa State where he received a reception befitting of a hero.

I Did Not Insult Stella Damasus – HelenPaul

Versatile female comedian, Helen Paul, has denied insulting sultry actress, Stella Damasus, during one of her comedy performances in Lagos.

Some weeks back, the social media was awash with a purported statement credited to Helen Paul. The comedian was said to have thrown a jab at Stella that she ‘changes husbands like pants,’ but Tatafo, as Helen is fondly called, described the whole saga as untrue.

Making Us Proud! Nigerian Idol Star Performs In A Pack-Filled U.S Stadium

Top finalists of the 2012/13 Nigerian Idol music reality show has made Nigeria proud with her performance recently in Philadelphia.

Yikes! 13 Signs You’re TOTALLY His Side Chick

Could you be the other woman? No one ever wants to be an opening act when they could be a main event – but how do you know? These signs are surefire signals you’re not his or her main squeeze.

1. He doesn’t make plans in advance.
Next Tuesday? Let’s confirm on… Monday night. If you feel like ditching your planner because your plans are always on the fly, it might be time to reevaluate your situation.

2. He calls you nicknames like ‘boo’ and ‘mi amor’.
Girl, he just doesn’t want to mess up your name or have others catch on. Next.

3. Your calls go straight to voicemail.
Calls not being picked up, especially in the evening hours? He’s at home with his girl.

4. There’s a ‘read’ receipt… but no reply.
Yeah, he’s not thinking of replying to that text until he’s alone – or it’s 2 a.m.

5. He never spends the night.
He’s got a bed to get to, and it ain’t yours boo boo.

6. He doesn’t post any pics of you on social media.
He has no problem posting pictures of his family, friends and even dogs – but when it comes to you, it’s like you don’t exist. And we’re not talking just profile pic absentee, we’re talking any and all pictures. None.

7. If he even allows you to follow him (he’s private!?).
He doesn’t accept your friend or follow request? Red flag.

8. You’ve never been to his place.
Is his place Narnia?! Do you need a wardrobe to get there? Run away.

9. You never spend holidays together.
He’s always with “his family.” But that could mean his wife and kids, not mami and papi.

10. You break up before important events.
Speaking of holidays, does it seem like you always break-up before major ones before getting back together right after? Or that the same thing happens right before a birthday? Yeah, he’s avoiding gifts and quality time. But don’t worry girl, he’s got arbor day and groundhog day all for you.

11. Familia and amigos… are they invisible?
You’ve heard about them, but you’ve never once met them. Not a good sign.

12. Booty calls… are there any other types of calls?
The times you speak always seem to be a little “off.” Like 2 a.m., “I’ll-be-over-soon” off.

13. You don’t know anything about him.

You know he exists, but beyond that? If you don’t know his workplace, his family members’ names or his favorite hangout spot – delete his number and move on.

9 Dirty Little Secrets Of Men Who REFUSE To Get Married

What’s stopping modern men from walking down the aisle?
While the numbers of women who want to get married are going up, men are less likely to want to walk down the aisle.

In the past 15 years the numbers of men who do not, or will not, get married has jumped six percent. More and more men are opting out of marriage and women are asking why.


Ladies, here are the nine dirty little secrets of men who refuse to get married:

1. They Don’t Need To Have s*x To Get Married
Men today don’t need to marry you to get s*x! You know this is true. I’m all for gender equality, but the changing societal standards for premarital s*x has backfired for women who want to move their relationships toward marriage.

2. They Would Rather Live Together Than Get Married
Another change in relationships over the years is the number of couples who opt to cohabitate versus get married. Unlike in the past, most people don’t frown upon couples who live together. So ladies, if you want to improve your chances of marriage, don’t move in with the guy.

3. Serial Monogamy > Divorce
It’s easier for men today to have a girlfriend for a while, enjoy all the privileges of marriage without the civil contract, breakup, then move on to another new girlfriend. To men, serial monogamy is easier than going through a divorce.

4. In Fact, They’re Terrified Of Divorce
Multiple sources cite that the number one reason men don’t want to get married is that either they themselves have been through a bad divorce or they have witnessed the grief, bad outcomes and money problems that divorces have cost their buddies.

5. They Don’t Want To Leave Their Bromances …
Guys love to hang with the guys, and they feel like a wife will keep them from this vital part of their social life.

6. … Or Ditch Their Man-Cave
When men live alone, their space is their own. They can hang their moose heads in the living room if they want. All too often when they get married they end up relegated to the unfinished room in the basement, where they have to set up their man-cave to preserve their manhood.

7. They Think They Can Have It Better
These are the perpetual playboys who are always looking for something better. If they’re dating a

“9”, they’re on the prowl for that elusive “10.” Expect age to slow these guys down, because as they get older, dating really young women just categorizes them as “creepy old men.”

8. They’re Mamma’s Boys
Forget these guys. If they’re still living in mommy’s basement, you wouldn’t want to marry them anyway. They’re already married to momma and there’s no room at the Inn for you!

9. They’re Die-Hard Bachelors
These are the guys who have hit 50 and have never been married. Don’t get into a relationship with them expecting marriage because according to the research I did, it’s probably never going to happen.

6 Tips To Having The Flattest Tummy

Let’s get down to business and forget the whole storytelling

1. You need to cut your food intake:
Food business is never to be joked with still you don’t have to take food proportions equal to your tummy size.
Limit your daily intake to small but nourishing proportions about four times daily.
Don’t skip breakfast or lunch totally as it makes u consume more during your next meal.

2. Water intake must be increased.
Regularly drinking water, especially in the morning, can increase our digestive power and reduce metabolic waste that could have built up in our immune system. Also, bloated stomach can be avoided by drinking water regularly.

3. I was one of the best world food ‘swallower’ even grains. I had to reduce this habit as chewing is the No. 1 tip I give to prevent bloating.

4. Don’t eat anything for two to three hours before sleep. Your body slows down when you sleep, which will prevent your body from digesting the food in your stomach properly.

5. Cabbage, carrots, cucumbers, pears, tomatoes, bananas, apples, pineapples and berries are all good foods to eat.

6.  Sit ups ( Abs Crunch)
To do the sit ups, Lie down on the floor with your hands on your side and you knees bent.Keep your feet on the ground and sit up.Repeat 10 times and increase the amount you do daily.

Yet Another Eyeroll Excuse: Cheating Might Be Genetic, Says Study

Some people are just born to be promiscious?


Many people who say that monogamy isn’t natural usually focus on men, saying men are supposed to be plentiful and spread their seed. But are men the only ones genetically tempted to stray?

Nope, sorry fellas! A study conducted by a psychologist recently discovered another reason that might explain why women cheat. The study looked at 7,400 Finnish twins and their siblings who were in a relationship for a year.

They noticed that women who cheat, and their variation of the vasopressin gene (a hormone involved in cognition, s*xual and maternal behavior, and more) and oxytocin are linked. To be exact, 40 percent of the variation in promiscuous behavior in women is tied to these genes.

Oxytocin and vasopressin are linked to making people feel more connected to one another. A study from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm also found that variants of the oxytocin gene are related to marital disagreement and lacking affection towards others.

Of course, the circumstances have to be right for them to cheat. The researchers found that other people available to cheat with are also a factor on whether or not these women cheat.
I guess this is another thing we need to add to the list of why monogamy isn’t natural.

6 Easy Ways To Keep Your v**ina SUPREMELY Happy (And Healthy)

After all, she IS your pride and joy!

When was the last time you thought about … how your v**ina is feeling?

Does that seem like a crazy question? It’s not! And here’s why …


With your never ending daily to-do list, you don’t give your v**ina the attention she needs.

Discomfort, pain, itching and burning are your v**ina’s way of communicating that she needs some tender loving care. But numbness is another way she lets you know she’s feeling neglected.
And this matters because — when your v**ina isn’t happy, neither are you.

Long before menopause you can experience changes in your vaginal health because of stress, side effects of medication, as well as hormonal changes. These changes occur in your early 20s and 30s, as well as into your 40s and beyond.

They also affect the vitality of the tissue, lining and walls of your v**ina. The lining, which once protected your vaginal walls and tissue, thins as you lose estrogen, which causes discomfort in the forms of pain, tissue tearing, and dryness (which in addition to affecting general comfort, obviously impairs s*xual pleasure, as well).

The good news is, there are simple things you can start doing now to keep your v**ina healthy and happy. No matter what your age, it’s never too early (or too late) to start taking care of your v**ina — here are six simple ways to do so:

1. Work Out!
Kegels are exercises you can do anytime/anywhere that strengthen your v**ina muscles; keeping them strong supports you in enjoying s*x more, having more intense orgasms and hopefully not developing incontinence later in life.
You can do Kegels while you’re watching television, driving (a great way to kill time at red lights), and even working on your computer — so there’s NO EXCUSE.

2. Go Commando Or Au Cotton — Your Choice!
Wear cotton paneled underwear or pop Go Commandos cotton patches into your pants. If you don’t like underwear or want to let your v**ina breathe while feeling cleanly, the Go Commandos patch is the next best thing to wearing nothing at all. Your v**ina will love the freedom!
Why does breathability matter? Synthetic fabrics that don’t allow your v**ina to breathe lead to trapped moisture and irritation which leads to infection. It’s no surprise that yeast infections are so common today.

3. Self-Pleasure is Self Care.
A survey conducted by Cosmopolitan found that women are severely climax deficient. So ladies, make sure you know how to please yourself so you’re always taken care of, knowing your body and what makes you feel good is a win-win!

4. Ditch Toxic Bath Products
Use only organic products in your bath. Make sure the soap and bathing products you use do not contain ingredients that could be harmful to the delicate tissue and lining in your v**ina.
When you sit in the tub, anything that is in the water ends up in your v**ina. Toxic chemicals in your bath can dramatically affect your v**ina PH which leads to a variety of unpleasant issues.

5. Use Natural Products
In the same vein, wash your underwear with natural detergent. An itchy v**ina could be caused by the ingredients in your laundry detergent. Get rid of the toxic ingredients and the itchiness too.
Also, without fail — use an organic s*xual lubricant!
I can’t stress this enough! Your v**ina has NO filter and so many of the lubricants on the market today contain toxic ingredients such as: parabens, propylene glycol, artificial sweeteners, glycerin and more — which can cause issues with reproduction, the PH balance of your v**ina, and lead to a myriad of disease, including Cancer.
s*x b*tter is an organic s*xual lubricant that lubricates and enhances s*xual desire while maintaining a healthy PH balance. The ingredients are plant-based (no petroleum oils) which are healthy for your most delicate parts, inside and out.

6. Clean Out the Toy Chest
s*x toys are NOT regulated. If you are using or have any s*x toys that are porous, made of PVC, contain Phthalates, are jelly in texture, and/or smell like chemicals beware that they are harmful to your body.
Get rid of them immediately. They contain toxins and chemicals are highly harmful to your v**ina and are known to cause infection and serious disease.
If you haven’t considered your v**ina’s health, in a long time … NOW is a great time to start.
The sooner you start caring for your v**ina the better the odds you’ll have a happy and healthy v**ina. With women living longer lives, issues not recognized by women in past generations are now extremely relevant and important today.

3 Captivating Things You Do That’ll Make A Man Want To Love You Forever

Make even the most steadfast bachelor want you — and only you.
Some men claim they’re unable to commit to a woman because they’re “just not ready” or “the timing isn’t right.”

But often, even a dedicated bachelor will take the plunge when he meets a woman who truly attracts him. So what qualities captivate him enough for him to abandon his bachelor ways? Here is what such men are looking for:

She’s not looking to him to fill a job description. Want to know one of the biggest fears men have about relationships and commitment? That you’re desperately seeking a husband — and that anyone will do.

We, just like you, yearn for a partner who wants us for who we are, not just for what we can give. And so the minute a man gets even a hint that you have an agenda beyond just getting to know him, he immediately shuts down and starts to feel less attracted to you.
It’s really tempting to think that your time is precious and that you need to find out right away whether or not a man is up for a lifelong commitment. But making this the focus of your early interactions with a man is dangerous. Take your time getting to know him and letting him see that you enjoy being with him — not that he’s just a means to an end.

She shows him she’s willing to walk away. When a man thinks you’ve centered your whole life around him and that you’ve already decided he’s the one before you have spoken about commitment, he’ll feel pressured. He’ll feel pressured to live up to your expectations, and he’ll also feel anxious about letting you down. He’ll also wonder why you’ve made up your mind about him so quickly.
Instead, you must convey to a man that you are selective. Being selective means you let him know that while you like him and enjoy being with him, you are also a woman with options who is in control of what happens to her. How do you do this? By continuing to have a life outside him; nurture your hobbies, spend time with friends and family, improve your life and career. When you do this, he starts feeling lucky to have a place in your life, and he’ll fight to stay there.

His life is so much better with her in it. One of the most important things I teach is how to build a solid foundation for a lasting relationship with a man. And the way to do this is by creating positive experiences with him. Men can’t be talked into relationships; they need to feel a deep, emotional connection before they commit to someone. In order for a man to see you as a necessary part of his life, you need to create the right kind of experiences that will spark emotional attraction in him.
A positive experience is anything that you both enjoy that is, above all, fun. Fight the need to talk about the relationship, and instead turn your attention to creating great moments together. Do different things with him like playing sports along with the usual dinners and movies. Spend time in groups of friends. Read the paper together and do spontaneous things without planning. Mix it up. All of these experiences show him that you are a woman who is easy-going and playful, and that’s the kind of woman he’ll realize he’d be a fool to let go of.

7 Things You MUST Know Before Loving An Alpha-Female

The good, the bad, and the bossy of dating an alpha-female.
Being an alpha-female is a lifestyle. Nothing is sexier than a woman who is not only strong, independent and a total badass, but also isn’t afraid of going after what she wants.

Not only do you ooze confidence in yourself, you know that you’re the HBIC (head broad in charge). You don’t ever try too hard because you’re as real as it gets — no acting necessary.

1. And when it comes to love, finding a man whose vibes mesh with yours is a must. If he can’t keep up with you when you’re doing your independent thing, he’s not right for you, period. This goes out to all of the guys out there: If you’re really serious about dating an alpha-female, there are a few things that you need to know:
She’s not impressed by your player personality. Absolutely f*cking not. Don’t kid a kidder.

2. If you’re not completely honest with her, her claws will come out. Either you’re into her or you’re not. There’s no in-between. Tell it like it is and she’ll give it to you straight right back.

3. Repeat after me: She’s your equal/partner/lover/friend, NOT your trophy wife/arm-candy/mistress/follower.

4. She’s super-ambitious, which means you need to have ambition. A driven woman expects her man to be equally driven. (PS: Driven does NOT mean dripping in money. Alpha female does not mean gold-digger.)

5. She wants a man who can stand up to her when she, on the rare occasion, crosses the line from boss to b*tch. Only strong men need apply!

6. It’s hard for her ego to admit when she’s wrong. But when she does, she means it.

7. She’d prefer witty banter and intellectual conversation over flowers and candy. (Although peonies are always nice.) Mostly: She just wants you. You up for the challenge?

12 Dating Don’ts: Are You A Terrible Date?

Everyone has had at least one bad date. It may have been embarrassing, enraging or borderline unbelievable — basically, one you would never want to repeat.

Still waiting for that perfect date? Here are 12 dating mistakes to avoid.


1. Keep your friends at home
Having your friends along for the ride is not cool. One memorable date ended with me watching a televised basketball game alongside all my date’s roommates. If you need your buddies by your side, establish a group date beforehand.
2. Say the magic word
Gentlemen, please phone or ask out your date in person. A text communicates convenience and doesn’t do much for romance. Along with this, it’s helpful for girls to hear the word “date” when being asked out. With more and more evenings of just hanging out, it can be hard to know whether this is a date or just some people getting together for dinner.

3. Treat it like a date
Don’t forget to be a gentleman. Opening doors does not go unnoticed by your lovely lady. Touches of chivalry are never a bad idea.

4. Limbo land
Dates should be planned out. Picking up your date and asking “So, what you do want to do?” puts your date in an uncomfortable situation. You’ve put no restrictions on time or cost, which makes making a decision awkward. If you want some flexibility, try giving her options between a couple of activities. Choosing between a scavenger hunt and a movie in the park makes sure that things are within your time and cost budget, but still allows some spontaneity and freedom.

5. Eliminating the ending
One of my favorite bad date stories technically never ended. There was no walk to the door, no thanks for the date and no hug goodbye. After getting dessert, the date dissolved into a birthday party. When I mentioned I should be getting home, my date gave me a wave and started talking to somebody else. I saw myself out. Don’t fear the dreaded doorstep scene. A nice hug and a thank you is all that’s needed to end your date on a good note.

6. Keep it date appropriate
This particular story is borrowed from a close friend. On a blind date, this young man had planned for them to go to a formal ball for engaged couples. Needless to say, it was an uncomfortable night of pretending to be engaged when she barely knew the boy. Try and keep things date appropriate; if this is a first date, an evening for engaged couples is most likely not the way to go.

7. Avoid the marathon
Even if you and your date are having a blast, don’t over-do things. A picnic followed by a movie and dinner, a stroll around town, and then dessert by a fire are all excellent ideas. But if the date is dragging, something fun and wonderful can quickly be overshadowed by an excessively long date.

8. Conversation crickets
Brief pauses in conversation are completely normal, but do your part to keep the conversation going. I’ve had my share of dinners at a sport’s bar where my date just watched the game. This leaves your date scrambling to come up with something to say for the entire date. Avoid this tactic.

9. Keep your eyes and mind on your date
Nothing more really needs to be said. Don’t spend your date talking about an ex-girlfriend, and don’t be checking out other girls while you are out. Focus on your date and treat her well.

10. #bestdate
While a social media post is one way to let others know about your date, keep your phone in your pocket while you are out and about. Being glued to your phone is a big dating mishap.

11. Touchy topics
I once had a first date that ended in some hurt feelings, which did not result in a second date. He and I had differing opinions on a topic and it became very uncomfortable has he poked and prodded the conversation into a debate. As your relationship progresses, feel free to bring up some touchy topics, but leave them alone on a first date.

12. Skip the serenade
Singing and playing the guitar for your date may seem very romantic, but I’ve heard several stories that demonstrate it can also effectively kill the mood. Musicians: double check to make sure your date truly wants to hear you sing, and she’s not just being polite.
Be warned; these dating mishaps aren’t only committed by the gentlemen. Ladies can be equally inattentive and impolite. Keep these 12 things in mind next time you are doing the asking, or being asked out. But if things do go south, you’ll have another bad date story to share the next time you and your friends get together.

21 Pieces Of Unsolicited Advice For You, The Broken-Hearted

Here are twenty-one of my best lessons:

1. People don’t “fight” for things in the same way, and breakups often require some “fighting through” to achieve clarity.
2. Just because they are not blowing up your phone, showing up with flowers, sending long emails or otherwise begging to get back with you doesn’t mean they don’t care or that it all meant “nothing.”
3. You should probably sit on any emails/texts for 24 hours before sending. Sit on them forever if they have not responded to several already.
4. What is meant to be will find its way back to you. It may not be now, or in a month or even a year; the only thing we can do is trust our journey.
5. Have faith in the fact that you are right where you need to be with — and without — whom you need to be with.
6. It’s not fair to suddenly break the promises you made in the relationship. Secrets need to stay secrets. Breaking trust says more about your character than theirs.
7. Trying to piece the full story through social media posts is like trying to navigate through the ocean on a cardboard box. In fact, block them. I know it’s hard. You want to see what’s going on. Just remember they know you’re watching. Don’t give them that power.
8. Don’t get so caught on their sudden rejection of you that you miss the fact that you left them for a very good reason. Some people are really, really good at flipping the script, and before you know it, you’ve lost sight of reality and are chasing acceptance and acknowledgement.
9. Be weary of any information offered up by their friends.
10. There’s zero honor in texting and texting someone who can’t be decent enough to respond. Text your friends instead. Note: Please trust me on this one. I once texted an ex so much that his WhatsApp could be published as a trilogy if printed and bound. Guess what? It brought about nothing positive. No closure, no kindness, nada.
11. You don’t have to be perfect. You may say and do things you regret. Everyone else does this, too. Forgive yourself.
12. Do like Duchess Catherine: Don’t sit in and cry, go out and dance. You may not feel up to it, but your life cannot stop. In fact, it moves on faster when it doesn’t.
13. Your friends do not have any better an idea of what he or she is thinking or feeling than you do. Talk as much as you’d like about it with them and learn from their wisdom—just understand it is not the gospel.
14. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but you will find love again (and there are plenty of people to find it with). In fact, you will be so, so, so happy this didn’t work out. I know, you want to kick me right now, but trust me, it’s true.
15. Go to the gym. Go for a run. Release endorphins. Lay off the ice cream. Work off the wine.
16. That being said, there is zero shame in drinking wine and singing Otis Redding and Patsy Cline. In fact, making a dramatic scene like this usually makes you feel utterly ridiculous and you giggle a little at yourself.
17. What’s Love Got To Do With It? is always better than The Notebook in times such as these.
18. Now would be a good time to invest in you: your job, your career, your home, your health, your wardrobe … Do. Not. Cut. Or. Dye. Your. Hair.
19. Sleeping with your hot model friend is not going to fix this. OK, it might be super fun and take your mind off of it for a little while, but it’s still not good idea.
20. You’re still going to do it anyway. Sigh.
21. Do what you feel is right and grieve on your own timeline. Nobody has to understand. Repeat after me: Feelings are not facts.

5 Times Getting Back With Your Ex Is Completely Worth It

You might have heard the line, “An ex is an ex for a reason.” Which is technically true. Never has a breakup occurred without some sort of rift, no matter how maturely you’ve worked through it since then.

However, sometimes the reason your ex is an ex is entirely fixable. Maybe the timing was off, one of you needed to grow, or you needed perspective on the relationship—but overall, the two of you go together like peanut b*tter and jelly, mac and cheese, or Tom and Gisele. (Well, maybe.)

If those intense miss-your-ex vibes have started to creep into your brain, hold up a second before acting on those feelings. We asked a couples experts to break down the million-dollar question: When might getting back together with an ex actually work?

1. Your Timing Was Off
So cliche, yes, but timing is everything. Sometimes a person needs to hit some personal growth milestones, transition their career or location, or date around before they can ‘get there,’ so to speak.
“I had a friend who dated a guy for a couple months and he ended up disappearing on her. She was totally confused and hurt,” says dating coach Neely Steinberg, author of Skin in the Game. “A year or so later he popped back up again, but this time around he was ready and in a better place in his life to devote his time, energy, and heart to a relationship. They are married with two kids.”
Beware, though: Steinberg says a fair amount of time needs to pass for this reason to be legit. Change doesn’t happen overnight.

2. You Were Emotionally Distracted When You Met
Whether you met while you were with another guy, or you were fresh out of a different relationship, you have to heal from a breakup before you can pursue a new beginning.
“You might have thought you were ready when you finally came together,” says dating coach Laurel House, author of Screwing the Rules. “But sometimes you’re emotionally tied to an unhealthy ex and not yet ready to open your heart to someone else—even if your ex was an a*s and the guy in front of you was pretty great.”

3. The Breakup Gave You a New Perspective
You thought meeting a new guy would be the key to your happiness. (Eureka!) But alas, such has not been the case, and you’re starting to seriously miss what your ex added to your life.
“It can work if you’ve had a chance to step away and perhaps look more objectively at the relationship, as opposed to trying to do that when you’re in the middle of it—very difficult,” Steinberg says. “You may have tried dating other people and, through that process, have had epiphanies about your previous relationship.”
In this case, absence may make the heart grow fonder…in a good, healthy way.

4. Your Priorities Were Off Balance
There are wants and there are needs. Needs are the items on your checklist you cannot live without, whereas wants are wish-list items.
“Maybe you confused what you wanted—hot guy, lots of money, tons of fun—with what you needed, which is someone emotionally and financially supportive, nurturing, understanding,” House says. “Basically, your priorities were off.”
For instance, your ex’s perpetual spontaneity or unconventional career path may not a dealbreaker, but a difference. If your state of mind has evolved, and overall your ex made you really happy (and there weren’t other ticking bombs), the relationship may be worth rekindling.

5. You Were on a Strict Timeline
Life doesn’t happen in a series of A-B-C steps just because you want it to work that way. There’s also your timeline, his timeline, and then your couple timeline—and yours doesn’t get to win out.
“Perhaps you had a timeframe with certain critical, self-imposed, time-sensitive components in place, like proposal, marriage, and kids,” House says. “He wasn’t ready to move at your speed, so you left to find someone else who was on your schedule.”
Except, no one compares to your ex, and you now believe that you left the guy who could have been The One. If you had a great relationship, and were possibly being unreasonable about something, take some time to consider whether you both ultimately want the same things—and are able to start fresh.
If you’ve decided that Round 2 with an ex is worth it, just make sure to approach the relationship with the right mindset.

House says that one partner leaving the other creates an environment of distrust, which will manifest itself in other issues “like a lack of emotional availability, coldness, a disinterest in what makes you happy, and the little niceties things that help maintain a relationship,” she explains. “Go down before you go up. Fix that problem before building your relationship back up. Yes, it might feel like you are taking 10 steps back in order to move one step forward, but that’s the healthy way to do it.”
This involves some honest talk about what went wrong the first time, why one person left, and how things will be different the second time.
“If you’ve spent some time apart and had time to think about what the issues within you and within the relationship that were creating problems, and you are still convinced in your heart that this is the right guy for you, I think it could certainly be worth it to try a second time,” says Steinberg. “Just be ready to tackle those issues openly, honestly, and compassionately.”

3 Extremely Toxic Expectations That Are Killing Your Relationship

Here are the three most damaging and widespread expectations that kill relationships.

1. “If they really loved me they would know what I needed.”
People are not mind readers. No one can know what you want from them in every moment without you expressing your desires. When you withhold your needs or desires from your partner you are abandoning yourself.
If you want to be in a highly functioning relationship, learn to communicate your personal desires. Some people think that it’s easy to tell their partner what they want … but it’s often not. It can be the most terrifying thing in the world to tell someone (that you care so deeply about) the truth of what you’re feeling … or be the one to initiate s*x after a week-long dry spell.
And if it feels too scary to tell them what you want … start by telling them where you’re at.
If you want to ask for something new or different in bed but you’re nervous to bring it up, you could start by saying “I want to ask you for something right now, but I’m feeling really nervous about it … and it might be silly once it comes out, but I’m still worried about what you’ll think of me for wanting it.”
Communicate your honest desires. Be as forthcoming as possible. And if you’re nervous or apprehensive for any reason, simply tell them where you’re at.
2. “I should love my partner unconditionally.”
No, you absolutely should not. Healthy love between consenting intimate partners is not unconditional.
While you should absolutely make a concerted effort to have a deep and resilient love for your intimate partner, there are certain conditions that, if broken, are going to have an impact on your love for them (or on the relationship itself).
Maybe they hit you. Maybe they have come home drunk every night for weeks on end, and it’s affecting the relationship. Maybe they haven’t said a word to you in over a week, despite living together. Would your love not become conditional if any of these were to occur?
Healthy love is conditional. If you are expecting reasonable things to be occurring (“treating me like a king/queen every single day” doesn’t count) and they aren’t occurring, that can be grounds for the love/relationship to end.
3. “It shouldn’t take work.”
I hear this one quite often just because of what my line of work is … but I’ve heard it from clients, non-clients, friends, family members and people from all walks of life.
There’s this romantic notion that if a relationship is destined to work out, then it should work out … with no effort or intentionality from the partners involved. It should function on autopilot. It should be effortless. And there should never be anything that feels like “work.”
Every couple that I know that have an abnormally high functioning relationship all put in the work.
They are brilliantly effective communicators, because they have read books, attended seminars and put in the work in order to find out how their partner uniquely needs to be communicated to/with. They have sizzling s*x lives, because they have put in the time to get to know their bodies and their own unique turn-ons. They go on week long re-connecting vacations in order to explore each other’s bodies and talk about their dreams for the future.
Whenever a conflict arises between them, either subtly or obviously, they tackle it head on and see if they can come to an amicable solution that sees both of their emotional needs being met. Whatever comes up as a problem for them, they have a mutually agreed-upon pact that it won’t stay a problem for long.
The bottom line is … people in high functioning relationships put in the work. And it pays off.
All relationships are for healing. And yours is no different.
So, if you think that the idea of scheduling date nights in your calendar is unromantic, then you might want to question that belief and ask if it’s serving you and your relationship.
An intentional love life is a thriving love life. If you ignore the little things, your relationship will eventually suffer. If you prioritize the little things, your relationship will eventually thrive.
Your committed intimacy is either stagnating or deepening. There is no middle ground.

Christian Marriage? Another Type Of s*x To Add To Your List

I’m sure you’ve heard of make-up s*x, honeymoon s*x, morning s*x, and lunch break s*x. But have you heard of after-worship s*x? Yes, you read it correctly. After-worship s*x.

I didn’t make it up. God did.
As I’ve written before in “The Blessing of Marital s*x,” God wants husbands and wives to experience ultimate pleasure with each other. s*x is a gift that should be opened and used regularly. And, because it’s done in the context of holy matrimony, as opposed to a non-covenant relationship, God blesses it.
Worship blesses a couple’s s*x life, too. For some women, seeing their husbands pray, preach, or praise God just does something to them. I’ve been told, and experienced for myself, wanting to make love more, feeling more attracted and free. I’m not sure if it is the same for men, but there is a definite connection between worship and s*x. Sounds weird, doesn’t it? That’s what I thought until I read God’s word for myself. Check out 1 Samuel 1:19.
“Early the next morning they [Elkanah and Hannah] arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the LORD remembered her.”
To get the full context of this verse, read the entire chapter. For the point I am making here, notice these two things. First, Hannah and her husband worshiped together, which means they were on one accord spiritually. Second, it says, after worship they went home —not to eat Sunday dinner, not to watch the ballgame, not to take a nap ““but they went home and made love.
Worship must have been real good that day. I imagine Hannah and her husband didn’t even hang up their church clothes before they jumped into bed–if they made it to the bed!!
After-worship s*x can be a blessing to your marriage when done with the right motives. God must come first, and growing together as a couple must come second. Hannah and her husband were in love. They worshiped and prayed regularly. Their spiritual life was important to them. Together, they sought God, which, in turn, made their marriage and s*x life stronger. Because they were on one accord spiritually, they could be on one accord physically.
If after-worship s*x is new to you, consider adding it to your list. There’s really nothing to lose yet so much to gain.